Surviving the 2ww: shopping

This is how I have been spending (pun intended) my 2ww (this is the only husband-approved acronym, so I had to use it). Ok, minus the heels, the heart bag, and the really small white couch. But you get the idea.

I am slightly fascinated with this element of IVF: my husband and I have spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to make a baby, but during these last few days I feel absolutely driven to shop. Like all I want is some cashier to hand me what I’ve just paid for … immediately. No waiting. No ultrasounds. No blood tests. I just want the goods. Now.

Mix in my desire to shop with my poor self image, and that leaves only one place from which I can gain extreme shopping bliss: Brooks Running. See ladies, I must confess, I am a runner at heart. I love it. I love being alone. I love the meditative thinking. I love how I feel. It’s not about speed much of the time, but when all goes well on a run, I feel unstoppable. So after my first IVF went south, I quit cold turkey. I’ve run into stores. And I once ran to the car, but I have not laced up my shoes, donned my shorty shorts, and strapped on the sports bra in seven months. FUCK INFERTILITY!!!!! But at Brooks Running I was able to buy just a little bit of my former self and it felt amazing. Two pairs of shoes, a cute top, and my favorite running skirt in another color lifted my spirits like nothing else. Ok, a soft serve twist cone is pretty powerful. But you get the idea.

I don’t know when I will be testing out the shoes or wearing the shirt in a race … honestly, I hope it’s not for quite some time … but for now, for tonight, my 2ww got just a bit easier.

Go forth and shop, my friends.

dfb

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14 thoughts on “Surviving the 2ww: shopping

  1. I like your approach on the shopping, feels good to get something new. I stopped running too when starting this treatment and I miss it as well.

    • I sometimes wonder how much we’re willing to give up to make this baby thing work. A dear friend said — isn’t the sacrifice supposed to be once the baby is born? Hope your final few days are going well.

  2. Yay! Someone else like me! When my IUI got canceled I took a trip to Target. I bought a pair of running shorts and a sports bra. (And an ice cream bar)

  3. Sometimes a girl just needs some retail therapy! I’m trying to see how long I can last before I snap and end up going hog wild at Anthropologie.

  4. Shopping always makes me feel better…in fact, my husband thinks I might have a slight problem 🙂 Glad to hear it lifted your spirits and I hope it continues to do so each time you slip on those new shoes.

  5. I’m not a huge shopper, but for some reason, when I’m in a funk or things aren’t going my way, I immediately turn to retail therapy. Weird. I hope it’s a good, long 9 months plus before you get to use any of your recent purchases!

  6. Good luck with this cycle!! Shopping and me go way back 🙂 I don’t love running but I know what you mean by loving your alone time. Some days there is nothing better than a walk with my dog outside all alone. Thinking of you and hoping for good news soon!

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