This is how I have been spending (pun intended) my 2ww (this is the only husband-approved acronym, so I had to use it). Ok, minus the heels, the heart bag, and the really small white couch. But you get the idea.
I am slightly fascinated with this element of IVF: my husband and I have spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to make a baby, but during these last few days I feel absolutely driven to shop. Like all I want is some cashier to hand me what I’ve just paid for … immediately. No waiting. No ultrasounds. No blood tests. I just want the goods. Now.
Mix in my desire to shop with my poor self image, and that leaves only one place from which I can gain extreme shopping bliss: Brooks Running. See ladies, I must confess, I am a runner at heart. I love it. I love being alone. I love the meditative thinking. I love how I feel. It’s not about speed much of the time, but when all goes well on a run, I feel unstoppable. So after my first IVF went south, I quit cold turkey. I’ve run into stores. And I once ran to the car, but I have not laced up my shoes, donned my shorty shorts, and strapped on the sports bra in seven months. FUCK INFERTILITY!!!!! But at Brooks Running I was able to buy just a little bit of my former self and it felt amazing. Two pairs of shoes, a cute top, and my favorite running skirt in another color lifted my spirits like nothing else. Ok, a soft serve twist cone is pretty powerful. But you get the idea.
I don’t know when I will be testing out the shoes or wearing the shirt in a race … honestly, I hope it’s not for quite some time … but for now, for tonight, my 2ww got just a bit easier.
Go forth and shop, my friends.