Serendipity. That’s what my BFF said this last week was all about. And she couldn’t have been more accurate. Last Monday we were dealt the nasty blow of a negative pregnancy test and a second failed IVF. Come Thursday morning at 3:55 AM things were drastically different and much, much happier.
My dog birthed her first pup in our (my and my husband’s) bed. She didn’t use the adorable and well fashioned labor and delivery room we’d set up in our spare room. She didn’t use her whelping box. She didn’t use her favorite patch of grass outside (thank goodness!). She used our bed with our fluffy down comforter and block printed tapestry. She did seem a bit more cuddly than usual, but in the wee hours of the morning I just wanted her to go to sleep so I could go to sleep. And that’s when it happened.
“Turn on the light,” my husband said.
“I think there’s a puppy in the bed!” And there was. Little Coco (temporary name) was there squirming and moving in his new location. With some quick thinking, my husband picked up our dog as I picked up the puppy, and we four headed to the room designated for this kind of fun. From there, our dog delivered six more puppies (we weren’t expecting the last one), and my husband and I were there to welcome each one into the world.
It was amazing. I didn’t cry. But I was in awe of my dog and the cutest puppies I’ve ever seen. There they were, in one second, alive and new and squirmy. They moaned and squeaked and huddled together, and my husband and I are totally smitten. Of course, we keep telling ourselves not to get attached as only one will be staying with us for the long term, but it’s pretty hard. They’re so damn cute!
After spending the first night in the room with mama dog and pups I even uttered something all infertiles will cringe at: “Maybe I’m not cut out for this parent thing. I need more sleep than that!” But we’ve gotten more sleep, the pups have grown stronger, and I am even more grateful for this magical event and its timing. Seriously. No better way to heal your own wounds than to share in the excitement of the birth of something. Anything. So while my husband and I have had random conversations about next steps and the wacky things our doctor is likely to tell us and the unlikelihood of us going through IVF again, we have talked more about the puppies, what a great mom our dog is, how excited we are to get to experience this, and how grateful we are for this distraction. But then I think it isn’t a distraction at all. Rather, it’s just helping us keep things in perspective. Showing us the good in our lives. The love we share. In the grand scheme of things, life are pretty fucking awesome.
Like any good friend, I will share some gratuitous pictures of the puppies. Beware: they are cute. Really cute. Incredibly cute. Well, sort of. They really look like little guinea pigs right now. In a few weeks they’ll look more puppy-ish. Yah!
We do have an appointment with our RE some time this week or next. A little cycle redux. Raise your hand if you’re excited for that?! We’re looking forward to closing this chapter of our story and seeing where the next one begins. There is some healing that needs to happen. Some deeper conversations on being parents. Some questions we have about how we move forward. Will keep you all posted, of course!
A continued thanks for all of the love and support and laughter and check-ins. I continue to be bolstered by this on-line community.
dfb and the puppies