It’s funny what happens when your IVF cycle fails and you have to have a post-cycle meeting with your doctor. It’s even funnier when you’ve already requested your files be sent to other docs in the area because you want a second opinion. In our lucky case, our doctor, we’ll call her Dr. A-Hole, was a complete and utter nightmare. I guess this is what happens when Type A folks (who make good docs) feel like their skill is being put into question.
Let me give some backstory first, IVF and non-IVF related.
1. My husband HATES confrontation.
2. He also hates people who do not meet their obligations.
3. He hates our doctor because her communication was piss-poor in the final weeks of our cycle.
4. Do not say stupid shit to my husband about stuff he has done.
5. Never, ever make me cry (Doc did this more than twice)
I know what you’re thinking: you and the hubby are some tough mo-fo’s, mix in a failed cycle, and not even Godzilla would want to meet with you. I disagree. It’s just not prudent to move forward without some outside opinion, another set of eyes looking at our case. Is that so wrong of us? No! Add in that IVF is not cheap for the uninsured (well, we’re insured but not for this), and we are moving forward with hope but caution. Wouldn’t Dr. A-Hole want to seek out a second opinion should her cycle have failed?
Things started to go south in the meeting not 3 minutes in. When she briefly mentioned that “I already sent your files off to a bunch of other clinics,” my husband lost it and them clammed up. “You sent it to two other doctors. That’s not a bunch. That’s two.” Agree to disagree, but it was a battle from then on. Her body language, her conversation, her everything said she was pissed and angered that we would even think of seeking out another opinion after only one failed cycle. “Who does that?” she asked. There were some things I wanted to say, but for the first time in a long time I kept quiet. So we got the needed info and left. Great way to start the weekend, huh?
Here’s Dr. A-Hole’s opinion: Use other meds during the next cycle (no shit!). I don’t produce many follicles even on 375 mg of Follistim a day. But, the follicles I do produce contain good eggs. We should think about freezing my eggs and then putting them back in a month or two later. This will help synch the transfer with my uterine lining. There is some thought that I was off by a day.
I appreciate her insight and we may go back to her after meeting two other doctors. But, after this meeting I’m not sure I’d really want to work with her again. Professionally she’s awesome. Personally she’s a fuck wit. Her compassion is inconsistent. And clearly she’s holding on a little too tightly. Fun times.