4, 3, 2 …

Yesterday was operation “Get Those Eggs!”. The entire procedure went well and the nurses couldn’t have been nicer. We were the first and only people in the waiting room and operating room. Guess that happens in the early hours of a Saturday. Got some crazy drugs that made me loopy, and before I knew it I was back in the recovery room asking, “Is it over?”

The good news: they retrieved three eggs

The bad news: one didn’t love lab life and disintegrated; two were immature.

Where we go from here: The two eggs matured over night in the lab and were mixed with my hubby’s sperm this morning. We’re hoping fertilization takes place and we head in for the transfer tomorrow. Not going to lie – this is not the news were were hoping for. We were hoping for the “Oh, your eggs are amazing! While there might not be many, they sure looked good.” But that’s not what we heard. And, my doctor did the unthinkable: she’s already thinking ahead to the next cycle. This is what sent me over the edge. My belief wall was crushed and the shoulds flooded back in with ease. I cried. I have cried. I know I will cry a few more times. As my hubby said, when we decided to go IVF, we thought we’d be successful and could move forward. We’re hoping that’s still the case, but it seems things won’t be that easy in such a complicated process. We’re trying to keep things in perspective. Focus on being thankful for what we have and the good lives we live. Focus on the bright side: we have each other, we have supportive people in our lives, we will be ok. And, we have a very loving and totally adorable dog who spent the entire day draped over my abdomen keeping me warm.